some time ago i introduced the phrase “food pact” to my friends as a shorthand for “i’ll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food” and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo
the best part of this is when you ask “who wants to do a shower pact” and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying “the pact is sealed”. faustian behavior
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay….but we gotta know she’s Female, do u understand? ….she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara…smooth chest that sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got titties even tho she’s a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house and fuck my wife
